ARAZ-Tehran

One summer Friday afternoon, a few men who I did not know came to see my father unexpectedly. He went to the door and disappeared. He did not come back for two years.
My father always told me to leave Iran. He used to be very powerful and rich, but now his success and dreams have all vanished. He gave up. They denied him his right to live as he saw fit. I will not let them do the same to me.

My parents came to visit me. I hadn't seen my dad in three years. Tomorrow they will leave and my heart is breaking. It will be a very emotional time for me but I’m ready to face the consequences of my decision. I have no regrets.

I was a child during the Iran-Iraq war. To this day I still don't know why we fought.
The media used to sound alarms in order to alert people whenever there were air raids. There were red alarms and white alarms.
When we heard the red alarm, we knew that the enemy’s planes were above the town, dropping bombs. We would quickly run to the basement, taking the radio with us. When we sat in the basement we could hear the explosions.
I remember a time when the attacks were so serious that we took refuge in a public parking lot that was 20 floors underground. We stayed there for couple of weeks with the radio on all the time in case a red alarm sounded… We used the radio to get news from the front line.
The words spoken by the broadcaster were the soundtrack of my life for 3 years.

I travelled to Iran’s largest desert by train with a large group of people. We went camping and stayed there for a week. I made a lot of good friends on that trip.
In the desert I fell in love, too.
I was 26 or 27. We went to Malaysia to live and study. After nearly one year of a very close relationship, we split up and I went to China.

I love to travel. I have been away from home for nearly ten years. I have been to India and Nepal. I spent one year in Malaysia, 6 months in Indonesia, and a year and a half in China...
I want to travel throughout my entire life. I love adventure and hate using the word ‘regret’. People ask me why I don't get married, have children, and settle down.
I have an urge to move around all the time. I want to live my dreams.

Now I am stuck in Turkey and feel as though I am rotting. Why do I need to get permission to leave and go somewhere else? The answer is simple; it is because I am Iranian. I am treated differently in every country to which I travel. The first thing they asked in Turkey was: Are you Muslim? Are you Shi’a or Sunni?

Recalling old memories fills me with a special feeling, which I like it and I don’t like it at the same time. Looking back at my past helps me to be stronger and more hopeful for the future. It actually makes me feel better because I know that even in the darkest moments there is a light.